A Dash of Nutmeg

Label Maker

meggera81 — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 04:43:11 +0000

As human beings we like to label things. It helps us to identify what they are, what role they play, and how they relate to us. For example, if you label something a ‘box’ you know that it can carry stuff, store stuff, ship stuff, or even be turned into a fort (assuming it is a large enough box). We also like to label people. Pretty, nerd, stupid, ugly, fat, gay, jock, outcast and the list goes on.

Yesterday while Vanille and I were on our jog we were passing a middle school that had just let out. I had my headphones in, enjoying the sun, crisp air, and Vanille. Suddenly my thoughts were broken into when I heard a young man shouting “Hey fat girl!” I knew instantly this derogatory catcall was directed at me because I was the only plus sized girl around. I chose to ignore him and kept moving. Again he shouted (all the louder) “Hey FAT girl!” I kept jogging. A third time he screamed “HEY FAT GIRL!” I raised my head a little higher and didn’t so much as cast a backward glance. I wasn’t going to cry, I wasn’t going to acknowledge he existed. I was just going to keep moving.

It wasn’t until I was getting ready for bed that it hit me. That deep in your chest hurt that makes it hard to breathe and your eyes instantly sting with tears. I hate labels. I hate being called “fat”. That is one label I have struggled against since I was young. I was relentlessly bullied in middle and high school because of my size. As I recounted the events of my day what that boy said came back to me along with the countless horrible things I have been told over the years.

I wanted to tell that boy that he didn’t know me and just because he had affixed this label to me didn’t mean that is who or what I am. I wanted to tell him that I am happy with the person I see in the mirror, even if that isn’t always true. I wanted to say that I don’t need his label because it doesn’t fit me. It doesn’t say who I am. I wanted to tell him that I am strong. I am beautiful. I am okay. I am better than okay, I am fantastic.

So to that boy, I want you to know that you can have your label back. I don’t have any use for it. I have my own label maker and I like the words I came up with for myself much better. I am happy, beautiful, smart, funny, strong, courageous, and talented. I am me and I love myself.

Introducing Vanille

meggera81 — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 03:56:16 +0000

Vanille (Kaias Vassar) came to join our family on May 11, 2011 just two days after her 2nd birthday. She was the 8th puppy born in her litter of nine and she is a retired racetrack dog. Vanille only has three races to her credit all at Orange Park in Florida. Her career ended due an accident that broke her toe and scarred her hip.

Giraffe, startrek logo, what do you see?

We worked Second Chance Greyhounds who helped us find the perfect dog to fit in with our family. Vanille is a real character. She quietly woofs and kicks her legs as if she is running in her sleep.

You wouldn't know it to look at her now but this girl can MOVE!

She loves her toys and will often carry them from room to room.

Vanille loves her pony. Not only to chew on but to snuggle too!

She adores a good bone.

Sun, grass, and a good bone.

Will go for a car ride but gets a little motion sick.

How many more errands are we going to run?

She lives for her daily walk, thinks food is the greatest thing in the world, and knows who to visit for those secret treats.

Recall Training

meggera81 — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 23:25:52 +0000

Anyone who knows I have a dog knows that I think she is the bees knees, the cats pyjamas, and the snakes hips all wrapped in one. Being a retired racing greyhound has presented its fair share of challenges. For example, when she joined our family in May she had never lived in a house, been potty trained, or learned to navigate stairs. There has been a learning curve for all of us. During all of our training sessions I have used a clicker as a marker for behaviors I want to reinforce. I strongly believe in positive reinforcement training and have seen amazing results in Vanille’s progress.

However, today I had a terrifying experience that highlights the fact that I need to work on our recall training. As we were preparing to leave for our walk the the wind blew open the gate. Vanille shimmied out through the opening and started to trot off down the sidewalk. I called her name and she simply ignored me. I tried again with no luck. In a moment of desperation I made (as best I could) the sound that a clicker does. She stopped dead in her tracks, turned and looked at me. I held out my hand as if I had a treat on it. She stood for a few agonizingly long seconds and then came running to me for her reward. I praised her and gave her affection while covertly attaching the leash to her collar. Crisis averted.

The events that transpired today punctuated the fact that while we have made great strides there is still a lot of ground to cover. Her recall is nill, she ignores the “leave it” command, and her confidence with other dogs is lacking. I want to work with either Calling All Dogs or Astrid from A Dogs Journey because they are such strong proponents of the positive reinforcement method. I would love for us to become Canine Good Citizenship certified. Even more I would love to give Vanille a job of some type (such as therapy dog, compete in rally or agility, etc.) to exhaust her energy and to challenge her. The trouble is the cost. If I had endless funds I would do all of these things but money is tight right now so I am left to my own devices.

I think it is time to head to the library and check out a few training books, stock up on high value treats, and rededicate myself to our training.

Church Service

meggera81 — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:31:23 +0000

I sleepily blinked at the alarm telling me it was 7:53 a.m. and groaned. I had just over an hour before it was time to teach my lesson in Young Womens and I did not want to do it. I lay there mulling over the notion of pretending to sleep through my alarm. I shook my head and grudgingly rolled out of bed. I had a responsibility to fill and I wasn’t going to let the girls down.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like my lesson topic, because I did, it was that I felt unprepared. Not unprepared in the standard sense. I was familiar with the lesson topic, had handouts ready, even had a personal story in mind to share. I felt spiritually unprepared. I spent the better part of yesterday recovering from Friday’s cryapolooza which left little time for spiritual preparation.

When I made the decision that I wasn’t going to let the girls down I chose to put my faith in Heavenly Father that he would help me feel spiritually ready. My lesson today was on following the example of Jesus Christ and I knew that to be more like my Savior I should put the needs of the youth before my own wants.

I’m so glad that I made the choice to serve in my church calling today as I should. I was blessed with the spirit of comfort (something I desperately needed today). I love the youth and the leaders with whom I serve. They are all such great examples to me and I love and admire each of them. I am amazed at their strength and righteousness. Serving them inspires me.

Broken Seashells

meggera81 — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 05:01:17 +0000

Today started off well enough. Vanille let me sleep, we said goodbye to Jake, and went for our two mile jog. The only eventful thing that happened on our walk was two aggressive dogs (same yard) charged the fence as we passed giving both Vanille and I a good scare. If I hadn’t had a firm hold on the leash Vanille would have been in the next county before I could say “boo”.

My day hit a sour note later in the evening and it got me thinking. When faced with unexpected upsets in your day how do you keep them from completely smashing what you have done to build a good day? In this case I can recognize that I have had some very lovely moments today. But, there is the fact that I have cried today too.

It reminds me of a broken seashell. It may be broken, damaged, less than whole or perfect. Yet, it is still beautiful. The jagged edges don’t detract from the beauty of the seashell.

So, perhaps I should look at today as that broken seashell. It isn’t whole but it is still beautiful.

I Can Cook. See Me Cook.

meggera81 — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 01:57:09 +0000

It wasn’t until a year and a half ago that I discovered that I enjoy cooking. Truth be told, I used to be to terrified to even try. There were several reasons I was afraid. One of them was I thought if I even tried it meant I would be trying to compete with my sister. Why is that a big deal? Well, my sister went to school and graduated with a degree in culinary arts. She is an amazing chef. So trying, even just a little, meant that I would be in competition with her. I never felt like I was very good at anything compared to her so I stopped trying to do things that she did.

Well, let us fast forward to a year and a half ago. What changed to make me decide to try? Actually, It was a very little thing. I decided to stop listening to that voice inside my head that told me “Megan, you tried to do this but you know what … TaLaisa is just better at it than you are. You should give up! Better yet, you shouldn’t even try because you will FAIL!” I decided that little voice needed to just be ignored.

Ignoring the voice hasn’t meant that every dish I try to prepare is perfect. But what it has done is given me the room to try, to experience, to learn, and to grow. I now enjoy cooking. In 2011 I made my first apple pie, pumpkin pie, and pound cake to name a few. None of these were perfect but each of them presented a challenge. An opportunity.

I wonder how often that naysayer of a voice inside my head has prevented me from trying something. While I cannot go back and change choices I made in the past I know that moving forward I can strive to make choices not based on fear but based on faith. Faith that the opportunity will be one that will help me grow and become more like the woman I want to be.

Snow or Shine; Rain or Sleet

meggera81 — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:38:11 +0000

Vanille is such a fun dog. I feel like my whole world has opened up because of having her in my life. One thing she has taught me is that regardless of weather she needs her walk. She enjoys her walks so much if we miss a day or are even late in leaving for her walk, she lets me know.

I’ve also have come to look forward to our daily walks. It is time that I get to spend with Vanille and think about the world, enjoy nature, plan my day (or my future) and just in general enjoy the beauty around me. I have been fortunate so far this year in the fact that it has been a mild winter so I haven’t frozen to the bone when we go for our walks. There may come a time when I need to get appropriate winter active wear but not yet!

My Music Library

meggera81 — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:55:18 +0000

I was going through my music library (on the computer) and realized that of what I own 70% was legitimately purchased, 20% was downloaded from a CD I borrowed from a friend and 10% was of questionable origins. I also noticed that in regards to relevancy only about 25% of my library meets my current music tastes and requirements. For example, Staind. There was a time in my life that I enjoyed the angry, loud, screaming styles of Staind. However, my preferences have matured to the point where I dislike this style of music and the memories it conjures.

So, this discovery has lead me to decide to purge anything of questionable origins or anything that I no longer enjoy. I also want to update all my music in my library to MP3 format. I know it is a huge undertaking but I also feel like it will be a good CLEANSE.

Big “Home Based” Business

meggera81 — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 03:29:14 +0000

As a child I recall making hand imprints in pottery clay, scratching my name into it, glazing it (a lovely shade of pink) and then kiln firing it as a present for my Mother. I thought it was the coolest keepsake.

Well, the other day while I was at Ma and Paws Bakery and noticed that they had used the above mentioned process to create paw print impressions of the shop owners dog who had passed away. I thought to myself “That is brilliant! I want to do that for Vanille!” It isn’t that I expect her to pass away anytime soon, but it is something I want to do as a keepsake.

So, not remembering exactly how to do it I came home and did a web search to see if I could find easy to follow instructions. What did I find? A million and ONE adverts for “easy to do home based business” all claiming that you can start your own home based business. I thought surely youtube would have something, or expertvilliage. No, pretty much it is all “spend twenty dollars for our ebook that will show you how to start your own business!”

I’m thinking I’ll just buy some moist pottery clay, do the impression myself, and then go to somewhere like Color Me Mine and pay to use their glazes and kiln.

Seems simple enough, right?

Young Women New Beginnings

meggera81 — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 01:25:58 +0000

I have been called to serve in the Young Women program as an advisor and I am so excited and nervous. Actually, I have been serving in this calling for a few weeks and it still makes me nervous. However, more than anything I am excited to get to serve and work with the amazing youth in our ward.

On September 7th we are holding New Beginnings and I was asked to do the invitations. While searching the internet for inspiration I fell in LOVE with some New Beginnings invitations I spied over at inkablinka photography. Kristen was kind enough to share her template (available at the above link).

I made a few changes but love the end results. First, I wanted to represent all of the value colors so I made 32 invitations with 4 of each value color. I also used ribbon as the bookmark end instead of the heart. Anyway, I love the results so much I wanted to share some pictures of them.

As I said before, I love the end result but what I love most was the time that I got to spend with my sister making these invitations. TaLaisa was an invaluable resource and a great companion while we worked on putting them together. I owe her a big THANK YOU for everything she did for me on this project.

I’m so grateful for my calling and this opportunity to once again enjoy the Young Women program. I cannot wait for New Beginnings and plan to bring my camera with me for lots of photos!