Label Maker
As human beings we like to label things. It helps us to identify what they are, what role they play, and how they relate to us. For example, if you label something a ‘box’ you know that it can carry stuff, store stuff, ship stuff, or even be turned into a fort (assuming it is a large enough box). We also like to label people. Pretty, nerd, stupid, ugly, fat, gay, jock, outcast and the list goes on.
Yesterday while Vanille and I were on our jog we were passing a middle school that had just let out. I had my headphones in, enjoying the sun, crisp air, and Vanille. Suddenly my thoughts were broken into when I heard a young man shouting “Hey fat girl!” I knew instantly this derogatory catcall was directed at me because I was the only plus sized girl around. I chose to ignore him and kept moving. Again he shouted (all the louder) “Hey FAT girl!” I kept jogging. A third time he screamed “HEY FAT GIRL!” I raised my head a little higher and didn’t so much as cast a backward glance. I wasn’t going to cry, I wasn’t going to acknowledge he existed. I was just going to keep moving.
It wasn’t until I was getting ready for bed that it hit me. That deep in your chest hurt that makes it hard to breathe and your eyes instantly sting with tears. I hate labels. I hate being called “fat”. That is one label I have struggled against since I was young. I was relentlessly bullied in middle and high school because of my size. As I recounted the events of my day what that boy said came back to me along with the countless horrible things I have been told over the years.
I wanted to tell that boy that he didn’t know me and just because he had affixed this label to me didn’t mean that is who or what I am. I wanted to tell him that I am happy with the person I see in the mirror, even if that isn’t always true. I wanted to say that I don’t need his label because it doesn’t fit me. It doesn’t say who I am. I wanted to tell him that I am strong. I am beautiful. I am okay. I am better than okay, I am fantastic.
So to that boy, I want you to know that you can have your label back. I don’t have any use for it. I have my own label maker and I like the words I came up with for myself much better. I am happy, beautiful, smart, funny, strong, courageous, and talented. I am me and I love myself.
